I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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