ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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