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This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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