what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
please come you make the beer taste better
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
