I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
