Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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