I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
