we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
