i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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