You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
