My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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