Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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