Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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