You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
