But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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