Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize