If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
