I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
