4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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