are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Are my feet made of real feet?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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