would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
