just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
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I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize