Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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