she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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