what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
