But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
