why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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