There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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