You're completely useless in the revolution.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
