at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
