So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
