Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize