He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
