Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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