and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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