Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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