I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
