I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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