I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
