She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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