You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
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I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
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The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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