DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
