And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
