How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
