ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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