you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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