After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
