Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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