How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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