I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
