she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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