i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
