I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
