So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
