I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you win again, gameday.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
