dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
