We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
