No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
