we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
