so explain again why im purple
no
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
