So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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