It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
