you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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