ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
