I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
